Who Will Win the National MILF Championship?

Join the action as 8 of today’s hottest MILFs compete for the National MILF Championship. The Winner is determined by a secret statistical formula you would not understand. Because it involves fractions.

The Basics of the Formula include:

– A Panel of Judges consisting of heterosexual men

– Asking 1000 people on the streets of New York City

– My personal vote

– The Internet Buzz Statistics

– In the case of a tie, there is a high-stakes rock-paper-scissors tournament

March MILF Madness Game 1

Pamela Anderson

Jennie Garth

 

Jennie Garth Vs. Pamela Anderson

A complete blow-out! Pamela Anderson wins although she’s had more work than the Help Wanted ads.

Pamela destroyed 90210-oh-oh so hot Jennie Garth. One judge comments: “Jennie is a normal hot babe up against a super hot buxom babe. Even though Pam is a quarter plastic, she’s still slamming.”

Then I dismissed him from being a judge for still using the phrase “slamming.

WTF? Who says Slamming anymore? “Yo, Jennie is Fresh, but Pamela is da bomb, bro!”

My feeling is guys gave Pam too much credit for her past hotness and are overlooking her now-scary face and ugly implants.

My vote went to Jennie Garth because she has two kids and is expecting a 3rd but she still looks natural. And more like a human being. Personally, I think the human-look is hot.

But Pamela Anderson has been one of the most downloaded women on the Internet for ten years! That’s amazing.

But how many guys have downloaded hepatitis C from her vagina? Not hot.

One judge explained, “I vote for Pamela Anderson because of her t!ts. You can bag the face.”

Yeah, in March MILF Madness, there is a lot to be said for over-inflated basketballs.

Me? I love snuggle-bubbles, too. But if her face isn’t pretty, I don’t care about the t!try!

My vote wasn’t so much for Jennie Garth, but against Pamela Anderson. I think it’s time they sent her and her awful implants to the glue factory. In basketball terms, for Pam, it’s way past overtime.

Part of a woman’s hotness is her perceived sluttiness level, too. Keeping with the basketball theme of the event, we need to ask, “How many guys have dribbled on Pam Anderson’s court?”

March MILF Madness Game 2

Melania Trump

Jennifer Garner

 

Melania Trump Vs. Jennifer Garner

What an exciting finish! It was neck and neck! And cleavage and cleavage! Incredible! Jennifer Garner is super hot. Super pretty face. And a killer body.

Melania Trump is a lot less famous, BUT her body is referee-dick-all! Melania was helped by her Trump name. People seemed to trust The Donald’s judgment with the bits. As one judge remarked:

“She’s banging Trump and Trump has banged a lot of hot chicks. Trump gives her the extra oomph. (Wouldn’t we ALL like to give her the extra oomph!) Trump’s owned the Miss Universe Contest and Miss America Pageant. He has competitions for hotness. He knows what he’s doing. He’s gotta have some expertise.”

That’s a damn good point.

While Melania was helped by her husband, Jennifer may have been hurt by the backlash against Ben “Dover” Affleck. Guys had a lot of great things to say about Jennifer Garner. They love her dimples, her body, her eyes, her perky nipples.

Plus Melania’s basketballs are most likely synthetic while Jennifer’s are authentic. But… Melania squeaks out a win in an upset!!

MARCH MILF MADNESS GAME 3

Denise Richards

Heidi Klum

 

Denise Richards Vs. Heidi Klum

Another tight battle of the MILFs! Many felt Denise Richards’ time has passed. Though one judge vehemently dissented stating his desire to “get into the paint” with Denise:
“I would kill someone to have Denise Richards.” But another judge wanted to pick and roll Heidi into bed. He admits, “ With Heidi, sometimes I find that I’m accidentally humping my couch cushions while watching her on TV.”

What’s even grosser is that that judge still lives with his parents. Heidi Klum still has that incredibly pretty face. And I think the images of her (fair or not) posting in Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition will forever give her higher scores than she would otherwise earn today.

Hedi edges Denise!

MARCH MILF MADNESS Game 4

Christine Taylor (Ben Stiller's wife)

Michelle Williams

Christine Taylor (Ben Stiller’s wife) Vs. Michelle Williams (Brokeback Mountain bit)

Another close one! Michelle Williams was hurt by guys who think chicks who have babies with guys who kiss guys in the movies are not as hot as chicks who have babies with guys who destroy weddings at the movies.

Major bonus points were given to Christine Taylor by Jewish voters. Because Christine is married to Jewish funnyman Ben Stiller. And every Jewish guy knows it’s a Jewish guy’s dream to get with a hot shiksa (non-Jewish girl).

London MILF Escorts

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You can find a number of names for relationships in between older women, younger men; everyone knows them, and not all of them are pleasant. Some contact them, May-December relationships (he is from the spring of his existence, and she is inside the winter of hers), or Cougar/Puma relationships, and these are supposed to become the much better ones. Calling them MILF romances (it’s unprintable, but seems in the movie American pie for details) or Arctic Fox relationships (a really old woman using a significantly younger man) are in especially poor taste. But whichever they call them, older women, younger men romances are all of the rage now; the magazines can’t cease talking about them, the screenwriters can’t stop producing up motion pictures close to them, and women and boys can cease acting on the notion. In London, you will find the best ever MILF escorts who are able to give you the desired service. London MILF escorts, offers the best!

Women are more prosperous at creating a fantastic living these days, than men are. And that could be a purpose for why there’s a sudden adjust from the way women look at men. In addition the flip facet is, men discover independent and capable women very attractive too. There may be something about the confidence they have, which they just can’t have enough of. A youthful man does have assurance of course, but having an older woman to visit to who can see proper through your assurance, may be incredibly invigorating. Older women – younger men relationships flourish, because both parties take place to catch every other at precisely the proper time. Women, nevertheless profitable they may possibly be, do hold the romantic facet constantly open for business. London, Milf, escorts, youthful men, who haven’t actually started their careers in earnest, possess the time to indulge this romantic part. Add to that how it feels for the youthful guy to look at a woman who effortlessly achieves all that she has – an incredible work, an excellent automobile, and great seems. To him, she feels like someone descended from heaven, and he lets her understand that. If women dated older men as continually, they wouldn’t actually use a probability at that type of heroine worship, now would they?

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So what you do to acquire with the occasions here, if you ever do use a big cat hidden within? In the event you take place to know someone who flirts a whole lot close to you, don’t hang back and think it couldn’t definitely possibly be about real interest. He admires you for knowing what you need, so go ahead and do what you desire already. If you happen to be worried about how you most likely glimpse older than him and how which will invite derisive smiles from folks, there’s no need for you to visit market it suitable away. And in addition to, these kinds of a relationship should be a terrific incentive for you to have pounding on the treadmill, to remain in shape and be the best bait you may be. Using a take-no-prisoners entire body, and a regular library visiting habit, you’ll basically start to understand why the older women younger men point is each one of the rage every one of a sudden.

How To Give Her Big Breast Orgasms

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Men often overlook many possibilities for orgasms that they should capture and take advantage of. There are 7 types of orgasms which means there are hundreds of thousands of orgasm possibilities. If you tried several possibilities every night you would never try all the possibilities. One of the great combinations is big breast orgasms. Try it tonight!

What qualifies as big breasts? Well, that’s up to you and your lady. Several of these techniques can work with small breasts, so give it a try.

First Tip. Get your lady ready for these techniques by getting to her head. You can get to her head by giving her tons of love, affection, and respect. Women want to be adored and cherished! Imagine what you can do to give her that feeling.

Women sometimes expect that men will know what to do, since they do. Ask them this question: “what would it take to make you feel incredibly loved and adored?” Then, basically do what they tell you to do.

Share some fantasies and get them excited! You should be enjoyed every sexual interludes three ways: Before you do it, As you’re doing it, and After you do it.

Second Tip. Massage and kiss her breasts and give her a big breast orgasm. You can start with some nice foreplay and kissing her mouth. Then tease her breasts until she can’t stand it until you actually cup, kiss, and suck them.

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Your key here is to vacuum her breasts in your mouth. That is why big breasts have better chances of having orgasms because of the amount of breast tissue that you can put in your mouth and then you just ripple and vibrate the rest.

Try different techniques and see what she likes. Some women cannot stand hard sucking so you should make sure that you get feedback at all times. Alternating kissing and then sucking hard seems to drive them nuts.

If they start to get excited, wet, and their nipples are incredibly hard then you know you’re on the right path. Keep it up as long as she’s loving it.

Third Tip. You can stimulate her breasts with your penis. You’ll have to do a combination of tips one and two and then go immediately to this one. Make sure that you get lots of action of your penis all over her breasts.

Tease all around her breasts. Tease up the sides. Of course, you’re going to rub the head of your penis on her nipples. Talk to her and tell her how much you love this.

Ask for her feedback. She can straddle you or you can straddle her. Just be careful not to squash her. That will quickly take the excitement away.

The great thing about this third tip is that you can get off at the same time your lady does. That’s an amazing concept and it can go right from breast play to amazing oral in your favor. That’s not saying that you can’t then give her more of what she wants.